Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
