Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
