allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Bring me that man meat
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
