Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
