theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dear god my vagina.
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