Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.