I hate all girls vehemently.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.