Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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