Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
