Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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