sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize