so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it because I queefed?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
