thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
