HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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