I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
