airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
