Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize