the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
