We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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