She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
