Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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