He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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