Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
