Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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