He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
barbara walters just said penis...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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