You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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