bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
