Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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