i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
