That's when you crack a 10am beer
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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