Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
