My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
