Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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