my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
