I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
