i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
