Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
