Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
