Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
