I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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