Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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