Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
not ubering you a puppy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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