k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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