I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
