I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize