There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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