Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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