Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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