they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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