I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize