OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
