If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
