She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
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No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
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I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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