I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
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All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.