Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You need Xanax blowdarts
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.