he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
