Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
