Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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