Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
