The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
