Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
