meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
