i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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