I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
