Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
