And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
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