the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize