I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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