we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize